I need to be needed.
I will not be weak.

It's been awhile.

In a sense, mayhaps it is a bit hypocritical to only like you when I get what I want.

Nothing profound.
I really cannot fucking stand you.

A constant change.

That's journalism.
That's also my life.

I'm questioning everything, including life itself.

I'm fucking myself over, but I can't stop.

A week later, I really don't need you.
And my indecisive nature mixed with wicked mood swings is a blantant sign that I am not just ONE OF THE GUYS with hair. as you say.

I think I am capable of all of it, with or without you,
but thank God you are by my side.

tick tock tock.

The rare mush is pretty cute, I have to say.

They aren't just dreams anymore.

Today is the day I realized that sometimes dreams have to be sacrificed.
There's a piece of life called reality, and the line between it and our dreams isn't as thin as we make it.
Sometimes things just cannot be accomplished and to expect one to achieve all you've imagined is rather ridiculous.

This all-time-low attitude has got to go.

I've been hurting our chances subconsciously.
I know I don't need you anymore.
But I still believe in us.

I question this direction every single day.
Good intentions don't make the best decisions.
The future is something unpredictable, but the scariest thing is sometimes I can't envision even a tiny piece of the future.

It's like my dreams are icicles. I see them and they are beautiful and sometimes they are within my reach, but once I try to grasp them they break, or I get ahold of them and I slowly watch myself destroy them as they drip through my fingers.

Oh, how time changes things.

It's been a year flat, and I never expected any of it.
I'm surprisingly pleased, content, and questioning simultaneously.

Your heart is like a hill of dippin' dots.

"you don't know me"

Fucker.

Even my dreams tell me I'm an idiot..

I rode a motorcycle.

The liberation was symbolic of my morning.
And if I could write better, I'd turn it into something.

But for now, that is all. :)

Yay for two jobs.

How can such blatantly clear and obvious lines
sound. so. beautiful.?


Thumbs down for having to work today!

if I could write like t.s. eliot.

or if i could write just one line like t.s. eliot,
i would feel like i am an okay english major.

boo for sucking at what i do.

you were just a hook-up, but now you're so much more.
but as we're approaching the end of this chapter,
I'm wondering why the hell it feels like the beginning all over again.

everytime you fuck up, we have to hit the rewind button,
and someday the tape's gonna break and we'll be left with nothing.

I'm a hypocrite.

I want you to need me, and
I wanr you to want me too.

I know I couldn't find the voice to say it, but

I don't want you to follow me.
This is my life.

In ? we trust.

we were all in love,
and we all got hurt..

Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o's
Wondering where you life is gonna go..

t.s. eliot is boss.

"I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas."

'nuff said..

"I want the best for you and I can't provide it."

I never asked for the best.

I love watching those shows about jail.
I'm just so nonchalant about it.

yet nothing breaks me more than seeing you in the county prison.

Sometimes we fight so hard for what we want,
that eventually what's sought is forgotten,
and we are left,
just left.. completely lost.

I will not change for you.
I will not change for you.
I will not change for you.
I will not change for you.
I will not change for you.
I will not change for you.

...but I have changed.
not for you, but because of you.

and today, I do not know how I feel about that.

There's no escaping what you do to me.

I can do better than you, without a doubt.
The only thing that stops me, is I wouldn't be happy with better.

I settle for you because you're all that I want.

We obsess about the impossible.

Quote of the Day

"When you start shitting rugby balls, that's when you know you're a rugby player!"

kingsfoil.

love. won't. grow. on. trees.
when you keep cutting them down.

I've Loved These Days..

We light our lamps for atmosphere,
and hang our hopes on chandeliers.

I feel like I could be okay without you in my life,
but it doesn't mean that I want it that way.

I miss you.

dancing in the moonlight..

Spinning..

It's like being on a merry-go-round...

Sometimes in life,
we know we deserve better,
but it doesn't matter.
because the heart doesn't
measure love that way.

I can't settle for better
when you're all I care about.
I love you for what you are,
all the good, and yes, the bad.
I love you for what you're not.

And that's how love feels.
Sometimes it hurts, bad.
but it's feeling.
I feel you.

uhh?

weirdest.
dream.
ever.

haha.

basically texas was mad at the united states for being added to the union.
and. and. and.
texas was seeking revenge.
revenge meant, darkening the sky, making it cold, and very windy like a tornado or something! weirdddddd.

i was hiding in a mcdonalds at first (a fancy one with revolving doors).
and i managed to escape with a friend.
and it was most definitely odd.

I'm afraid...

that one day you'll just be another blog entry.

don't
let
me
down.

I associate times with dates, and if that makes me weird, I don't care.
For example, my last post was at 6:22 which I would connect to June 22nd, which was a big day for me in '08.

On 11:11, I not only make a wish, but I remember Veteran's Day.
Okay, I'm definitely odd.



...i miss you!

I don't know why we all hang onto something we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we really don't even have. Some of us say we'd rather have something than nothing at all, but the truth is...to have something halfway is harder than not having it at all.

Where did this come from?
I have no idea, but I feel it. insanely.

Clomp, clomp, clomp.

I guess it's a good onomatopoeia, but jeez, it's so damn loud and annoying.

Stop walking.

New:

Year.
Goals.
Dreams.
Failures.
Beginning.
Friends.
Ending.
Lives.
Love.