dying.

My roommate just spent an hour alone on doing her hair.
How do people find the time?

I took four caffeine pills in the past 10 hours just to stay awake all night because I have so much school work.

It's almost done. Just five more exams.

goodbye

i'm gonna miss school.
because i like everyone. =(

push-ups

Ever since I've lost that job I've been even more distracted, disorganized, unfocused.
anddd..

homesick.

very homesick.

I don't know what it is. I kind of just want to sleep and cry and eat push-up pops.
I ate six over the past two days.
and left the orange ones at home.
Haha.

ruck me, maul me..

I had rugby today... last game of the season.

We beat F&M and if you could understand why we hate them, you'd know how great of a win this is! =)

I feel good today.

Well, actually, honestly...
I feel like a prostitute who had a good night: sore and dirty.

fishy.

I could potentially fail out of school.

I want to get out of here as soon as I can,
but honestly, I'm going to miss a lot of people.

I think, there's always a way to fix things.
I'll work through it if I fail a semester.

Today, I feel like a fish in a frozen pond: untouchable.. despite the dangers beneath the ice.

slacking.

My problem is this: I don't care how much participation points I'm losing every day for not showing up to class because I truly love sleeping in that much.

Also, I don't even care anymore about my grades.
You know why?
Because we have like, oh I don't know, two weeks left.

This procrastination/slacking off thing needs to disappear.
Anybody else feeling it?

Today I feel like dandelion seeds in the wind, yet so unfree and tied down to the work I've put off, it hurts.

procrastination.

dictionary.com
procrastinate: to put off till another day or time; defer; delay.


urbandictionary.com

procrastination: A similar experience to masturbation, it feels good while you're doing it, but it sucks afterwards when you realize that you just fucked yourself.

also:
procrastination: I'll put up a definition later.

I'll put up an example later.

and:
procrastination: What you're probably doing right now


..so, I have a lot of work to do.

crashing.

Have you ever wanted things to be so perfect that you'd do anything to change them?
that you'd obsess over things, change your life around for them?

This strive for perfection can really screw a person up.
What happens when the things you were so sure of become memories of the past?

Dreams you once sought to have come true now no longer matter?

your world crashes down.
and how do you cure it?
how do you fix it?

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you're falling?
and when you hit the bottom of wherever, you jolt yourself awake with your dream-landing.
What happens when you keep falling, keep falling, and you hit the bottom, only, you're not dreaming?

Only the right state of mind will save you, and I never had that.

melting..

"I feel like ice cream on an August sidewalk"
-Impulse

I really, truly do.

failure.

I feel like a failure.
It's disgusting, really.

So it's..

getting to be one in the morning.
I have another blog on here for a class in college,
but I wanted a blog where I could just write, about anything.

I have a pile of books on my bed,
all the homework I have to do,
that I should have done,
weeks ago.

As the stack gets higher, I feel lower.
and I just need a place to vent.

I don't care if you judge me,
because you don't know me,
but I guess soon enough you will.