I like to repeat things for emphasis.

I have really dumbed myself down for this boy.

singing!

I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore.

I have insight; I'm just not capable of somehow divulging my feelings in a non-jumbled way at 3am.

On a different note, I feel I have dumbed myself down for a boy.

it's just funny..

that people post things online and feel like they have a right to privacy.
I put every thought I have out there, yet, it is still kind of funny when my mom mentions she read my blog.
I'm not gonna lie, I almost second guessed myself and thought maybe I shouldn't write everything.

but, of course I threw that out the window.
My blogs are for everyone; I hope I never disappoint her though.

So if you're out there, hi!

impulse.

"Life is all about change.
If it were static, think about how boring it would be.
You can't be afraid of it,
and you can't worry that you'll mess things up.
You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them."

rewind to last summer.

I absolutely hate how one mistake, one wrong choice, one let down ruins any trust for the future, makes a person stop believing, in anything.

Take last summer for instance.
I met a boy, and it felt like summer should last forever.
My co-workers became my best friends. Everything seemed perfect.

Summer ended, of course, but it somehow trickled into fall.
When the leaves became brown, crunchy, dead, so did any hope for a perfect life between summers.

Some say i shouldn't hang on to that memory.
But when did summer end and become just that?
Because every day i tried to relive it.
That time that caused us to find the better in people,
and made us love so much, we'd do just about anything to hold on.
So, why did everyone else let go?

I asked myself that for a long time.
Maybe they found something better.
Well, my friend, it's summer again.

I feel like I've found someone better, only now, I feel like it's all fake.
I lack the trust; I'm absolutely pessimistic, attempting to be apathetic about everything that is happening.
I can't let myself be broken again, but a part of me wants to take the chance.

I wish I felt infinite..

It wasn't just the people, nor was it the moment,
it was all of us in that specific moment.
it was a time when we lost our values, and let things fly.
and let me tell you, life that summer was perfect.

you didn't make my heart stop, boy.
you kept it going, and i felt something.
and it was big. so big that I still feel it.
and in all honesty, it scares me.

hmm..

I haven't posted in awhile.
This blog is slowly dying, but it's here truly for my sanity.

Did I mention my mom reads all of my blogs?
It's kind of awkward when shit comes up at the dinner table; not like we actually even sit at the dinner table, but you get the point.

In the meantime, my foot is itchy and I need to go shower.
So yeah, give me something to talk about or at least get interested in.

I like..

to date.
nothing serious,
but usually I fall most for the people who I'm not dating.

How does this work?

I know nothing about you,

but I want to be everything to you. haha.