Mid-life crisis?

I am completely lost with my life.
T.S. Eliot said, "in a minute there is time, for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."
How does it feel to realize in one minute that those choices made you waste more than three years of your life, to be affected by one person so strongly, who influenced the type of cause you wanted to fight for.
And in finding out the truth, you realize the cau...se was never relevant. You were stupid. The passion was always for trying to save that one person, and not for fighting for that group's place in the world.
You didn't want to better others, but rather, wanted to believe that one person was better.
And now you are left with nothing.

I fell in love, still am, but I have to push myself further than this. Otherwise, I know I won't make it.